In any power-exchange dynamic, clarity matters. Roles matter. Intent matters. And one of the most common sources of confusion—especially in newer or poorly negotiated dynamics—is topping from the bottom . This term gets thrown around casually, often as an insult. That’s a mistake. Understanding what it actually  is helps everyone maintain healthier, more intentional dynamics. Let’s break it down. What “Topping from the Bottom” Actually Means Topping from the bottom happens wh

One of the most persistent misunderstandings about BDSM is the idea that authority equals domination over another person’s will. That belief flattens the reality of power exchange and ignores the single element that makes BDSM what it is: consensual responsibility . In healthy BDSM dynamics, authority is not taken. It is offered —and then carefully held. A Dominant does not control a submissive’s autonomy. A submissive does not surrender their agency. What actually happens is